Promises
by Trapped in a MatchBox
Summary: In which promises and compromises are made. Minor spoilers for season 4.


**Promises**

"She's right, you know."

Rick turned around, startled, only to find Kate leaning against the doorsill of his office. Alexis had just stormed out of the room a couple of minutes before after another argument with him.

It had been four months since the incident, as Kate always referred to it, and she had finally been cleared to go back to work the next day.

"Eavesdropping now, Detective? I must be really rubbing off on you." He tried to lighten the mood, change the subject. He would rather talk about anything but the fact that his daughter now seemed to have developed an aversion of his relationship – or lack there of – with Kate Beckett.

She had stayed in the hospital for close to two months and had agreed to stay at his loft for the remainder of her recovery. He still couldn't believe that she had actually agreed to live with him for a couple of months willingly.

"Don't do this, Castle." She all but whispered and he felt something heavy settle on his chest. Kate crossed the threshold and made her way to where he was sitting on the couch. "She's your daughter and she's right. It's too dangerous."

"She's just scared, Kate. Things will get back to normal soon enough. She never had a problem with us before." He tried to argue, but she shook her head and sat down next to him.

"Of course she is scared, Castle. She has every reason to be scared and it's_ my_ fault. I dragged you into this and now you're a target too. All of you are." She leaned forward, elbows braced against her knees, and hid her face in her hands. "I can't…" she started, but the lump in her throat prevented any words.

"What, Kate?" he asked gently, taking her hands away from her face. Holding onto her like she was the only thing keeping him above surface.

"I can't lose you too." She confessed, her voice shaking. "I would never survive that."

"You're not going to lose me. I promise you that. You're stuck with me for good. Like super glue." He tried to get a smile out of her, but she just shook her head stubbornly. "Hey, look at me." He touched her chin and met her eyes. A lone tear was making its way down her cheek. He leaned in and kissed it away. "Always, remember?"

"That's exactly why you can't shadow me anymore. I can't put you at even more risk than you already are." She sighed sadly and he tucked a lose strand of her hair behind her ear. "Please?" she touched his hand that still lingered on her cheek.

"Can I still come and visit you guys?" he asked, resigned, and looked away.

"The boys would never forgive you if you didn't." she squeezed his hand and offered him a small smile. He tried to count that as progress.

"What about you?" he asked almost shyly.

"I miss you already, you big baby." She nudged him lightly and he smiled for a moment.

"Who is going to protect you if I'm not there?" The tone of his voice had an almost childlike innocence, contrasting starkly with his darkened features, as the heaviness of what they had just agreed on dawned on him.

"Don't worry about me. I had been doing this on my own for a while before you showed up and I can do it again." He started to protest, but she silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Don't. Think about your daughter. She needs you right now."

He took hold of her hand and kissed the finger touching his lips. They had been doing this dance for over three years now and lately they had taken to try some more adventurous steps. Physical boundaries seemed to be almost a thing of a distant past.

"You need me too." He murmured as he placed a soft kiss on her palm. When her eyebrow lifted in question, he hid a smile, kissing her skin again. "Fine, _I_ need you, then." He admitted and the small, timid smile she awarded him with almost knocked him off his feet.

"You're not going to get rid of me that easily, you know?" she tried to joke, but he shook his head, entwining his fingers with hers.

"I almost did. I saw your lights go out that day, Kate. I can't…" he swallowed hard, trying to dissolve the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat. "I don't want to go through that ever again. I can't. I won't survive something like that."

"I can't promise it won't happen again. You know that." She said after a moment. "It comes with the territory."

"Then you have to promise me you'll be extra careful." He pulled her close to his side, his arms around her shoulders. "Promise me you won't do anything reckless. Promise me I'll get to see you every day. That nothing is going to change." He whispered into the quiet room, his voice almost echoing with the strength of his feelings.

He felt her relax against him, her face hidden in the crook of his neck. She was silent for a couple of minutes and he thought he had finally pushed her over the edge; finally asked more than she could give.

Her lips on his skin came as a surprise. He had to control himself not to jump, startled, but as soon as it registered in his mind that she had just voluntarily kissed him, a smile blossomed on his lips.

"I promise." She whispered against his neck and took a deep, fortifying breath.

"I'm going to hold you to that." He pulled her impossibly closer and kissed her hair.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, taking comfort in each other's presence. Alexis' voice greeting her grandmother in the living room interrupted their thoughts.

Kate was the first one to move.

"I should go pack my things." She said and tried to get up, but Rick's arm kept her in place.

"You don't have to do that." He murmured and she relaxed against him once more.

"I can't live here forever, Rick." She told him, but he just ran his fingers soothingly up and down her arm.

"You don't have to leave right away either. You know you're more than welcome to stay here as long as you want." He kissed her hair again and she sighed.

"I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable." She whispered and they both knew she meant Alexis. Things had been strained since the teen had started voicing her opinions about her father shadowing Kate again.

"You're not. _I _want you here, Kate." He said and let his words hang in the air; their double meaning holding precariously by a thread that neither dared to break.

Kate sighed and turned slightly to press another kiss to his neck.

"Fine. You win for now."

She smiled sadly and stood up, holding her hand out to help him up. He took it, but didn't let her pull him up, knowing that the pain in her chest was still severe. On his feet, he towered over her and pulled her against his body, enjoying this new found freedom of touch between them.

"Thank you." He whispered and she looked up at him with a small smile. He leaned down, resting his forehead on hers for a moment. With a kiss to the tip of her nose, he sighed and entwined his fingers with hers one more time.

"Come on, let's get some dinner."

She pulled on his hand and they walked out of their secret haven to face reality.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, it's certainly been a while, right? I am not entirely sure about this piece since it's been a couple of months since I last wrote anything. Tell me what you think?**


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